Ah, home sweet home. And also time for something slightly different.

When people talk about Denmark, then generally reel off the same old cliches.  Something about Vikings, something about the Danes being happy and something about Hygge. You might even hear about Denmarks’s legendary mountains and Fjords. Spoiler - Denmark has no mountains, or even a single substantial hill.

Anyway, enough of this! To celebrate the fact that we’ve reached Denmark, I’m going to treat you to a genuinely different list of observations about Denmark from the perspective of a non-Dane.

Duvet hanging day

I’ll kick off with an essential piece of domestic advice. In Denmark, Sunday is duvet hanging day. To be more specific, on Sunday many Danes strip their bed and hang their duvet out of their window. I’m yet to work out why.

Swimming

Danes are really into winter swimming. The colder the better. Talking of swimming, with its clean waters and plentiful ladders, Copenhagen is probably the best destination in the world for urban swimming. In the Summer, city beaches (i.e. harboursides and boardwalks) are the place to be.

Boating

In Copenhagen, a common weekend DIY project is building your own barge. It’s also probably one of the only cities in the world where you can sail your own homemade boat wherever you like. In the Summer all of Copenhagen’s waterways are crammed full of small boats, kayaks, floating hot-tubs and barges.

Birthdays

When it’s someone’s birthday, Danes celebrate with the Danish flag. Everywhere. On cards. On the table. On wrapping paper. On their desk at work. There’s nothing that says Happy Birthday (or tillykke med fødselsdagen) than the Danish flag.

Sanding down your savings

Floors and walls are all totally renovated between house rentals at great expense. Floors are sanded and varnished, and every surface painted regardless of whether this is needed or not.

New Years Eve

New Year’s Eve is a BIG celebration in Denmark and seems to be the only time each year when Danes dress up in formal attire.

Distortion

Each Summer several of Copenhagen’s streets close down for a free street music festival named Distortion. Residents who don’t want to partake are bussed-off to classical music performances on the other side of the city. Celebrations stop at 10pm sharp and the streets are all meticulously cleaned and within an hour everything is back to normal.

Lighting

The Danes appreciate the importance of good lighting like no other nationality. You can generally spot a non-Dane’s apartment by the hue of the lighting. If you want to blend in, buy a PH5. Copenhagen has a yearly festival of light every February. Expect to see lots of colourful, abstract lighting installations.

Bread lines

During the Covid-19 pandemic, bakeries are now the only attraction left in Copenhagen. So now, if you want to buy some nice bread and pastries on a Saturday or Sunday you can be guaranteed to stand in a long bread line.

Food and drink at work

Danish work culture includes the perk that most professional jobs come with an inclusive lunch. Pretty much every Danish employer offers a Friday bar at the end of the week where you down multiple cans of Carlsberg before snaking home on your bike.

Seaplanes

Copenhagen and Aarhus are connected by a seaplane service.

Bikes

Everyone knows Danes cycle a lot, but the cycle infrastructure is next-level. Trains have dedicated bike carriages and at traffic lights, there’s often a device for you to rest your foot on and hold on to so you’re comfortable.

Pigs blood and cinnamon

In Denmark, black pudding is sweet, contains cinnamon, and is considered a dessert food.

Have you declared that Covid test?

Denmark is most likely the only country in the world where privately administered Covid tests are considered a taxable benefit.

J-Day

The first Friday of November is known as “J-Day”. J-day revolves around the annual delivery of Tuborg's Julebryg Christmas ale. Julebryg is a seasonal liquorice-infused dark pilsner. At exactly 8:59 pm bars and trucks driving around start handing out free beers. It’s wild.

Smooth Sailing

Copenhagen has several sail-thru bars.

Right, it’s time to crack open a cold Tuborg. Skål!